Weightless
by tryandstopme
Summary: So many missions, the weight of the world on a young boys shoulders. Alex strives to feel weightless. Very angsty. One-shot, implies self harm if thats the way you want to interpret it. Rated


**Ok well this is my first Alex Rider fanficton. I do have another account but I feel kind of guilty that I can't update any of those stories, bad writers block. So I decided to write one shots instead. The first one that came to me was this one, the fan base here is amazing, I love reading other peoples fics so I thought I would give it a try. And yes I am American, but I tried to throw in some dialect that the British use. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. **

_**Warning: Angst and lots of it. **_

**The inspiration for this chapter is Weightless by All Time Low. Only the most amazing band ever! =] Try listening to it while you read the chappie if you wanna. **

**Disclaimer: Do I own Alex Rider? Hmmp! I wish! They are the amazing works of Anthony Horowitz. **

Does anyone really know when their going to die. If you did what would you do? Would you life to it's fullest? Or would you give up on life? Would you end your own just to feel in control again. Perhaps then the phone calls would stop. Maybe then they would leave you alone.

Freedom is the goal. It's not a question of what life is next after this one ends, it's the feeling of weightlessness. Swimming in a sea of swirling colors. The white-gray sidewalk slipping slowly away, just another cold hard object. The frantic crowd's voices coming in and out like a static filled radio station. Why are they so upset? This is something you wanted isn't it? You wanted me to risk my life for you, for your children, your families your friends.

Maybe you just didn't want to see the effects of how much it really takes to gain freedom. But now you understand. Now he's free, the truest form of freedom there is. No more insults can get to him now. No more lies, and blackmail.

No longer will he have to deal with the whispered voices. They act like he can't hear, or maybe he just doesn't care. But he cares more than they think.

Weightlessness, a miracle in itself. A feeling the boy sprawled on the sidewalk hasn't felt in a very long time.

Maybe he doesn't blame you, after all you didn't know. You didn't know he was suffering; but they did. The look in the women's eyes as they stared back into his blank brown orbs. She knew.

What did she do about? Nothing.

No, of course he doesn't blame you. After all, he is the perfect secret weapon. Perhaps it isn't anger that drives him to strive to obtain that feeling of being weightless, but emptiness. Emptiness deep down in his core. Saving lives came at a price.

He hears the sirens; blaring, screaming. "Get up! Get up!", the screech.

_No._

Maybe he just doesn't want this feeling to end, or he just wants to see her again. But he can't. They took the fiery red head from him too. Her once fierce blue eyes a rival to the whipping sea, now a calm pool, looking but not really seeing. She acts like it doesn't bother her when she hears the phone ring, or when he climbs into the back of a black sedan. But those defeated eyes see it.

Life is full of maybes, and he's bloody sick of it! Maybe they'll finally leave him alone. Maybe she'll finally start caring again. Maybe he could have stopped before he ruined her life too. Or maybe, just maybe he was born for this life. He deserves it, at least that's what he tries to tell himself. He got that bad mark in his maths class once, he stole one too many cookies from the cookie jar.

Now it's time to pay the ultimate price. His life. Off to join his family, enemies and past mistakes. Regret that he has to leave her behind pains him, but the feeling of being weightless, just too good to lose.

As the paramedics lift the limp body onto the stretcher he lets out a sigh. Basking in the buzzed feeling, a smile forms on his face.

Alex is finally happy.

**Please feel free to review! Nice reviews are pretty but flames are HOT!! Haha that was my attempt at humor. Yeah I should probably stick with angst. **


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